God's Opportunity

Some people live for Fridays (end of the work week, high school football games). Others love their weekends (for obvious reasons). But for me, Tuesdays are days I look forward to now. Women's Bible Study falls on this day of the week, both in the morning and in the evening. I have attended one or the other at different seasons in my life, but never both at the same time. Well, I can't say that anymore, because I now eagerly go to both!

Tuesday mornings are formatted into small discussion groups, followed up by watching the DVD as one large group (around 100 women or so). One of the serving opportunities that God put in front of me was co-leading one of these small groups. It was very tempting because I would already be a part of a group, so why not kill two birds with one stone...attend bible study and serve at the same time? However, like I mentioned in my earlier post, I felt pulled to Tuesday nights. Though I considered trying to do serve in both, I quashed that idea, reminding myself to just take baby steps and not get in over my head.

So yesterday was finally the first Tuesday of the new Fall Women's Bible Study session. I swear, I was like a girl getting ready for the first day of school. I picked out my outfit the night before (a new shirt, nonetheless!) and even put on eyeliner, which is a big deal for me. I'm not sure who I was trying to impress, but my husband liked it. Anyway, I made it through the whole morning without yelling at my kids (another big deal!) and arrived on time and eager to get started. I was placed in a small group with a very good friend of mine, which made the morning extra sweet. After a great DVD session and a get-to-know you conversation with the ladies in my group, I left church feeling very excited about the next eight Tuesday mornings.

Two hours later, the Women's Ministry Director calls. In a nutshell...drop-in enrollment was really high and another small group needs to be formed, and during training, I'd told her that if that happened, I could lead the new group if needed. Oh.

Umm...did I really tell her that? Yes, I do remember saying something along those lines (more like exactly those lines), but that was before I knew I was in Emily's group...and it was just a hypothetical situation when I offered that...and I like the idea of leading a group but I'm not really small group leader material... ohmygosh, what do I do now??

Well, I'll tell you what I did. I said "Yes." Here is why:

• There was a need. Small groups are just that...small. Think 8-10 people, not 20 which is what happened to a group yesterday. That just won't work.
• I offered. Who backs out of something they originally offered to do? Not me.
• I wanted to. Though I was simply happy (and a little relieved if I'm honest) to be a part of a small group and not lead one, deep inside I felt a twinge of regret that I didn't take on that role when it was offered to me. Though it scares me to death to think about leading a group of women in a bible study, I know it is one of the best and fastest ways to grow me in my faith and that excites me!

Right after I got off the phone with Janet (the Women's Ministry Director) I had a mild panic attack after realizing what I had just agreed to do. Satan bombarded me with all kinds of questions and accusations. "You don't have time to serve even more! You can't even manage what you've got on your plate right now and you haven't even started yet! Nathan is going to be so mad at you when he finds out that you agreed to take more on. You just wait...you are going to get overwhelmed, fall behind, and your relationships with your husband and kids will suffer for it. What were you thinking, anyway? Like you could lead a bible study? What do you know about the bible? You've only been a Christian for like 10 years or so and only recently have started really reading and enjoying the bible! What do you possibly have to offer these women? I bet the women in your group will run circles around you when it comes to bible knowledge. Then they will see you for the fraud that you are and you will be humiliated!"

Yep, all that in the span of five or ten minutes. Pretty intense. But then Nathan came home and he wasn't mad. He encouraged me and talked me down from the ledge, so to speak. A wonderful friend chose that time to text me, asking how my morning was, which lead to her encouraging words and affirmations. I began to breathe again and remind myself of something I had recently read:

My greatest weakness is God's greatest opportunity.

Well, here it is, God. The stage is Yours.